So you’re ready to travel. Pick a place, any place. Let’s say you’ve always wanted to go to China. You’ve seen pictures of the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, and Tiananmen Square. You’ve always been fascinated by Chinese aesthetics and culture, by red, fragrant temples and venerable statues. You have a chunk of money saved and extra vacation time earned. Now is the time to go!
But maybe you haven’t traveled much. You’ve never been to an exotic place where you can’t speak the language or read the signs. A place where you’ll have to do all the research for yourself, find hotels, get yourself around, buy train or bus tickets, and order your own food. You must figure all of this out while looking at the unfamiliar signs which you will see wherever you look or go.
So now you’re ready to realize your dream to explore China, and find, for yourself, the soul of the country. Unfortunately, right from the onset, none of your friends share that dream. Your sister is pregnant and can’t travel. Your best friend just got a new job and can’t take time off. So what do you do? You could ask everyone you know – friends, acquaintances, co-workers. You could join a tour. Or, you could go alone.
To travel alone is a difficult decision for anyone, but for me, it came naturally. I made that trip to China, and then zigzagged on a multinational tour through South Korea, Japan, Indonesia, Thailand, India, and Italy.
But the reactions I’ve gotten, from people I know, fellow travelers, and especially, from the natives of the countries I’ve visited, showed me that solo traveling is strange, and even considered inconceivable or reckless. People ask me if the isolation makes me sad or even if I’m more susceptible to violent or dangerous situations.
Traveling solo has been sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. I remember searching desperately for accommodations in China. The university listed in my booklet no longer had dormitories for travelers, and I was lucky when the desk clerk called a young woman out of a nearby office. As it turned out, she was offering to let me stay at her flat and even had a friend come and show me around the next day.
Also in China, I met two girls who accompanied me to my booked hotel when I had been lost for several hours, and then invited me to a feast with their friends. When they heard my next stop was their hometown, they arranged for a bilingual friend to pick me up at the train station.
But there has also been the downside because of those not-so-pleasant experiences. In Indonesia, a boy menaced me, assuming I was willing to pay for his company. In Japan, I was picked up by a young man who refused to drop me at my youth hostel; he insisted I stay with his friends. The friends turned out to be four girls. I was safe, but one snored like a lawnmower, and it took me two days to escape.
I’ve been irritated and perplexed many times – not speaking a language, not understanding or being understood. Once, in Italy, a hotel clerk tried to overcharge me and only gave up after 10 minutes of arguing. Another time in India, a taxi driver insisted I pay more, and I was rescued by the doorman of a fancy hotel.
Having a companion might have helped safeguard me from some of those problems. But it would have suppressed other opportunities – a long afternoon in Thailand all alone in the back of a hay wagon and then seven days in the back of a truck with a Brit, two Aussies, and two Norwegians! Eating ethnic food on my way through eastern South Korea with four youthful Japanese salarymen. Getting sick in Italy, and being nursed with chocolate bars and tissues by a couple from the U.S.
The few times I have traveled with a companion, I haven’t had the same ample opportunity to meet people. Other travelers can swap stories with you about the local folklore of the places they’ve been to and often have credible insights into the place you’re visiting. Locals are also more likely to see you as approachable and be upfront with you when you’re on your own.
Of course you have to be careful not to endanger yourself by throwing caution to the wind. Watch your back, but don’t presume the worst and be overly fearful. Be friendly with people, but watch out for those who are too friendly with you. Don’t disregard your instincts. If you hear stories about criminals on a road, you may take the road, but don’t take much cash, and don’t accept drinks from strangers.
The key to solo travel is to open your mind, close your eyes, and leap in! Everything that happens to you is an experience, and good, bad, or neutral, it will benefit you in some way. Take those little annoyances, those inefficiencies, and those boring bureaucrats with a laugh. If you despise something, just remember: You don’t live there, you can leave anytime, and you’ll never have to deal with this again!
Don’t ever let a lack of companionship constrain you from doing what you really want to do. Once you go solo, you’ll be amazed at how sensational your travel experiences will be.