Most of us know about the phases of life which we label to parallel different age groups: childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age. We think of infancy before childhood and middle age before old age, with each unique phase bringing its own peculiar set of challenges. These challenges can be overcome by acquainting ourselves with them, such as the child’s need to learn, the adult’s need to find the right career and build a family, and the senior’s need for support and good health care.
Interestingly, ideas about the stages of life are changing.
In previous times, people didn’t have a solid idea of childhood as being separate from adulthood. More than a hundred years ago, no one thought of adolescence. Until recently it was understood as a norm that children’s induction to adulthood was completed as soon as they graduated from college. They would now find a sensible job which would lead to a career. Then during this career they would start a family, ideally before they turned 30.
Today we have an equivalent need to recognize a new phase of life that comes after high school graduation, continues through college, and then leads to having a career and starting a family, the so-called odyssey years. Recent trends show radical changes as young people are following a different agenda. They take breaks from school, live with friends, and often return to living with their parents. Similarly, they fall in and out of love, quit one job and try another, or even shift to a new career. So we need to recognize this new stage, the odyssey years, which many now consider to be an unavoidable stage in reaching adulthood.
People who were born prior to the 60s or 70s in the last century tended to frame their concept of adulthood based upon achieving certain accomplishments: moving away from home, becoming financially independent, finding the right spouse, and starting a family. But that emphasis on stability did not remain static. Today, young people are unlikely to do the same. During the odyssey years, a high proportion of young people are delaying marriage, childbearing, and even employment.
The odyssey years can saddle young people with enormous pressure to move forward quickly. As the heir and focus of their parents’ expectations, hopes, and dreams, some react with rebellious and prideful attitudes and behavior toward their parents. They often resent the pressure they’re feeling and keep a distance from their parents or even run away from home. Their confusion comes from the difficulties to make parents understand them and the fluid journey of discovery they need in this phase of their lives.
Likewise, their parents are feeling more anxious. They may make allowances for a transition phase from student life to adult life, but they become more worried when they see the transition of their grown children’s lives moving away from their expectations and stretching from five years to seven years, and beyond. The parents don’t even detect a clear sense of direction in their children’s lives. They look at them and see the things that are being delayed.
It’s hard to predict what’s next. New guidelines haven’t been established yet, and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself. There’s been a shift in the status and balance of power between the genders, too. In conjunction with women’s growing incentives to attain higher education, college completion has now shifted in favor of women. Women have also gained representation, and many of them have become leaders at work and in society.
Apart from anything else, this has had an implicit effect on courtship. College graduates are not so anxious to get married. Their educational background has made them more autonomous. They would like to discover what kind of life they really want before settling down and having a family. Considering all of this, it’s beneficial to know that even though graduates are delaying many things after college, surveys show they still hold highly traditional aspirations. For example, the contemporary generation rates parenthood even more highly than previous generations did!
This new phase will likely grow more pronounced in the coming years. Nations around the world have witnessed similar trends toward delaying marriage and spending more years than ever shifting between higher education and settling down with a career and family. Nevertheless, graduates shouldn’t be deceived into thinking they can back off simply because things have become more difficult. So, from the outset, keep your résumé professional and up-to-date.
To reinforce this essential message, success in moving through the odyssey years will come to those who don’t expect to achieve their goals right away but know that they must have the strength, capacity, and confidence to endure over the long term. If you’re a little late with your goals, don’t feel like a failure! Stay strong, be positive, and keep focused! Someday you will look back and wonder at the vast changes as you passed through the odyssey years.